writer | artist | pw ME, ADHD

Month: August 2024

Hungover and in pain

My body aches today, especially my tummy. I spent quite a lot of time with a bucket last night, and now I feel like I’m quite hungover and as if I exercised extremely yesterday. I didn’t have any alcohol, btw. I don’t drink. Nor did I exercise. Not in the normal sense, anyway. I got sick from eating french fries, which my body has decided it will no longer tolerate. This meant I had to sit upright for over half an hour to vomit. Obviously when I should have been asleep.

Now I’m still nauseated as well as in pain. My abs have had to work too hard and are trembling most of the time from pure exhaustion. So are my eyelids. I can just cry with fatigue – and with the knowledge that tomorrow probably won’t be better. I hate ME!

Hairy legs

Yet another thing about #SevereME that I really hate: I no longer have the energy to shave my legs. Had I been lucky enough to have leg hairs that match the naturally blonde colour of my hair, this wouldn’t bother me (I dont’ care about the parts of my thighs that do have blonde hairs), but unfortunately most of my legs are covered in quite dark, rather long hairs.

Hubby shaves them for me, of course, but even that costs me energy. I know it sounds strange that simply lying on the couch with a razor being applied by someone else is exhausting, but for me (for ME) it is. Any sensory stimulus sucks energy from my body, and being shaved involves touch, sound, and vision all at once. Closing my eyes helps a bit, but that still leaves touch and sound quite on (ear plugs don’t help for sound that can so easily travel through one’s body).

So, here I am; hairy-legged and frustrated, which *also* sucks energy from my body like a very large leech. Yuck!

3rd place in art competition!

I won third place in Nationaal Atelier’s art competition themed “Light” with my work “When all the light has gone”!

When all the light has gone (2024)

Sometimes it feels like all the light has gone out of the world and there is only darkness. Dark trees with sharp branches surround me and bad thoughts shoot through my head like black lightning bolts. I express myself in my drawing and then…

…Then my cat Diva comes to me and despite everything a smile appears on my face. I look at her through the tears. I pet her and she begins to purr. She brings me a little bit of light again. That’s how she appears in this drawing. A small beacon of light, a glimmer of hope. And she purrs in my mind as well.

Sleeping

The little-seen side of #SevereME: this is how I spend a lot of my time. While hubby is visiting his sister today, I have to stay home because my body is too exhausted today to handle leaving the house.

If I’d had more energy today, we’d stay about 45 minutes before I run out of energy for the day, and I’d have PEM the day after tomorrow.

At least Little EAP is joining me 🙂

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